Avengers: Endgame Through the Eyes of my Kids

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Hello! It has been quite some time since I’ve posted but nothing like the worldwide pop culture event that is Avengers: Endgame to bring me back to this site. There are so many angles I could approach this movie from but, for this post, I’ve decided to allow a glimpse of the movie through the eyes of a twelve year-old girl and a ten year-old boy with some commentary from their forty-eight year old father. Hopefully you enjoy the post as much as I enjoyed watching and discussing the movies with my children.

There are spoilers ahead but the Russo brothers lifted the spoiler ban so here we go!

Dad…that didn’t mean anything

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The above heading came courtesy of my son. Thor dropped Stormbreaker across Thanos’ neck, decapitating the titan and bringing forth a collective gasp from the audience (wait…what? I mean…wait…hey killed him in the first 15 minutes? Be honest, nobody in all their Endgame predictions had that on the table. Nobody.). The great thing about the scene, however, was my son pulling on my arm and whispering, “Dad…that didn’t mean anything.” When asked why he answered, “The gems are gone. Nobody is coming back.” I loved the fact that he instantly understood this fact for it showed he understood the moment and it enabled us to discuss later why Thor was, in his words, “super sad.” From there we delved into the idea that the beheading of Thanos was not actually a victory. It was, in fact, a stunning act of shallow revenge and powerless rage which allowed for a nice discussion about how problems can and can’t be solved. Empty anger rarely leads to satisfying results. Another wonderful aspect of this moment was discussing Thor’s depression with my son. As he put it, “But Thor’s super strong!” I agreed, but told him, “Even the strongest people can hurt real bad inside.” This seemed like a stunning revelation to my son and, while it did not make Thor his favorite Avenger, it definitely made for a powerful connection. What more do you need from a story?

Dad, just so ya know, we’re suing Marvel

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This one comes from my daughter. The instant . . . I’m saying the INSTANT . . . Clint and Natasha arrived in Vormir she stated saying, “Ohnonononnono.” Again, the power of these stories to stick in the imagination from movie to movie was on full display and my daughter knew someone was being sacrificed for the Soul Stone. She held my arm the entire scene and my hand when Natasha plummeted to the bottom of the pit (They really had to show her dead at the bottom Dad?!Really??!).

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She understood why it had to happen but it didn’t stop her from declaring Marvel is being sued. Her proclamation for the pending law suit was based on a truly fantastic declaration, “She’s been my favorite since I was 8!” The MCU has become the campfire story of her childhood…that is simply wonderful.

HE’S BACK!

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This one is a combination of my younglings. I saw Endgame before taking them, both because I knew I wold want to see it twice and also to prep myself for moments when I would want to put my attention on them and not the screen. Spider-man’s return was a huge moment for both of them. As Spidey came through one of Dr. Strange’s space portals, my son grabbed my arm and looked up at me with pure joy. He pointed at the screen and whisper-yelled, “Dad! He’s back!” He was vibrating with excitement, the sorrow he felt watching Spidey disappear in Infinity War matched by jubilation. My daughter was smiling ear-to-ear, not speaking but staring at the screen with a huge grin. Faith rewarded.

She. Is. Awesome.

My daughter loved the charge of the female Marvel heroes. I think she wanted to join in and protect the gauntlet. One hero, however, stood above the rest  – the Scarlet Witch.

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“Dad,” she told me after the film, “she was beating Thanos all by herself! She just used her power and twisted him up. She’s awesome!” I informed my daughter that the Scarlet Witch was always a VERY powerful member of The Avengers. Not sure how many comic nerds are reading this but my daughter was intrigued to learn that, in the comics of my youth, Ultron was pretty much unstoppable and the only Avenger he truly feared was the Scarlet With. In fact she used her hex power to completely shatter Ultron in one classic tale.

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This just made my daughter even happier. I did not share with her that Wanda, in her grief and rage due to the loss of her children, becomes a force of devastation in some comic arcs. She can learn that later.

Honesty check: How many people thought this was going to be a section on Captain Marvel? Go ahead, admit it. It’s okay. To be clear, my daughter is a bit lukewarm on Captain Marvel. The reason: Wonder Woman! Scarlet Witch is powerful in a non-physical  manner. My daughter is a huge Wonder Woman fan so another super-strong woman didn’t impact her very much. Or, as she put it, “She’s cool and all, but no Wonder Woman.”

Also, and I found this hilarious, my daughter doesn’t like the name Carol. “Dad, she sounds like a soccer mom. Carol, did you bring the cookies? Carol, could you give Lisa a ride home. Carol, Thanos has the Infinity Gauntlet, could you help us get it back?” Guess it’s hard to be the favorite super hero when you drive an SUV.

On your left

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This one was particularly meaningful for me. When Falcon said, “Cap. On your left.” in the movie I got some goosebumps. After the film, as we discussed how SPECTACULAR it was to see Spider-Man again I mentioned the phrase, “On your left.” The kids didn’t remember where that was from. I explained how, not only was it the first words Steve Rogers spoke to Sam Wilson but the phrase had become a simple saying packed with meaning. It means I’m always there for you. I’ve always got your back. You’re never alone and you can call me at anytime and I’ll be there for you. On you left.

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About a week after the film I was driving the kids to their mother’s house. One of the tough things about being a co-parenting divorced person (and, hell, being a parent in general) is you never know for sure if the lessons you teach are taking root. You hope the foundation being laid is strong and that you do enough for your kids. Anyway, my daughter was getting out of my car and I told her I love her and would see her soon (nice thing about 50/50 time split is I always see them soon). She replied in kind and paused a second as the door. She looked back in and said, “Hey Dad, on your left.”

Doesn’t get much better than that. So let me close this by saying to all four of my kids, and my grandson, on your left. Always and forever.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Don’t Stop Believin’: Avengers Style

Hello everybody. This post comes to you curtesy of my daughter and The Avengers: Infinity War. We left the movie and she was very upset! I would not categorize it as sad per se, but upset.

Time to pause this writing for the spoilers alert!!!!!!

Not big time spoilers but still:  SPOILER ALERT!!!!!

As I was saying, she was more like, “Where’s a ship to take me to Nidavellir so I can get a weapon to help the Avengers fight Thanos” upset! I’m not sure but she might have some Asgardian blood pumping in her veins!

Well, I had no ship to help her on her quest but I did have knowledge. Specifically, I had knowledge of her current favorite song, Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin'”. So, as we were driving home, I told her, “I know what the Avengers need” and played her anthem. She smiled and shook her head. As the song ended she asked me to play it again. Before doing so I told her we should write a special version of the song for The Avengers. She thought that a fine idea but told me to just do it. “And you’re a teacher,” she stated. “So you have to do your homework!” We made a pinky promise over the shards of Mjolnir and the deal was sealed!

So, with all apologies and respect to Steve Perry, Neal Schon, and Jonathan Cain, here’s “Don’t Stop Believin’: Avengers Style”!!

Here’s a link if you want to hear Journey dong it right!!! 

 

“Don’t Stop Believin'”
Updated for Avengers: The Infinity War

Just a billionaire
Livin’ life without a care
With Nick Fury he formed

the Avengers

Just a mad Titan
With a genocidal bend
He seeks power to kill half of

 the universe

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A doctor with an anger issue
A brave man of years he’s seen a few
They’ll need some help to win the day
The list goes on and on, and on, and on

Heroes gather
Striving to prevent the end
Their powers tested
In the fight

Wizards, soldiers
Taking chances that most would shun
Hoping somehow to bring light.

Natasha has so much skill
Please don’t be too mad at Quill
Can Thor ignite a dying star
Just one more time

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 Thanos came, to the Earth
T’Challa again proved his worth
Wakanda you will never end
You’ll go on and on and on and on

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Banner confused

What happened to my green skin?

Rhodey and Falcon

Take flight

 

Wanda, Vision

Trying to stop the devastation

Heroes fading from sight

 
Don’t stop believin’
Spidey has you grievin’
You know that Cap will not quit!

Don’t stop believin’
Spidey has you grievin’
You know that Cap will not quit!

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Thanks for reading everybody. If you’ve gotten this far you probably already know this but it’s worth saying. Movies may not be true but they can be real, as real as the struggles we all face everyday. Songs may be over the top, but inspiration should be a part of our personal utility belts as we face our challenges. So, let me say, keep fighting the good fight with all thy might!

See you next time!

 

AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!

 

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It is less than a week until the release of Avengers: Infinity War and people are pumped!! Ten years…that’s right, ten years of storytelling culminating in round one of the climactic battle with Thanos. Yes!!

This post, however, will not focus on speculation regarding who has what Infinity Stone or who will die. This is not because I don’t feel interested in those intriguing matters because I do! Rather, plenty of sources exist online and offline where those conversations are being held. Rather, as we approach April 27 I wish to pay respects to these characters who meant so much to me as a kid and, thank you Marvel Comics Universe, have been brought to life in my adult years.

 

Marvel Characters and the Call to Character

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When discussing the concept of role models Professor Mark D. White wrote, “Good role models provide not just inspiration to achieve our goals, but also an example of the right way to achieve them” (1). He argued that, despite what some might think, fictional characters can be role models because they model “positive character traits such as honesty, courage, and wisdom – which means more if actions resulting from these virtues have consequences, even if only in their fictional worlds” (2). The beauty of a movie like Captain America: Civil War was the fact that my kids, while captivated by the action, weren’t entirely sure why The Avengers were fighting each other. Are they still friends, dad? They were so interested in the “why” of the fight that we were able to have a real discussion about choices, consequences, and standing up for beliefs. Fiction, be it super heroes or classic literature, can open channels of conversation allowing opportunity to discuss what truly matters most. For those moment with my kids I say, again, thanks Marvel.

 

 A Little help from Confucius (yes, you read that correctly)

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As the Marvel Universe expands it can be easy to lose one’s footing. I must admit, Iron Man 3 was far from my favorite Marvel movies. Far. Like, Asgard far. But there was a concept in it I loved. Of all the Avengers Tony Stark, despite his OUTRAGEOUS confidence, should have had the most difficult time adjusting to this new life. This was never the life he envisioned. Even the other human characters (Cap, Black Widow, and Hawkeye) were far more prepared to face such horrors than Tony. Struggling with anxiety and PTSD made perfect sense. To be honest I wish this issue was explored in a better executed movie, but the whole of the Marvel ride is greater than the sum of its parts.

Looking at the concept of character can feel a bit overwhelming. Where to start and where do we go? How to write it so my ten readers don’t lose interest? Like Tony, I need a little grounding. For my purposes I am turning to the great philosopher Confucius. There are three key concepts from Confucian thought that will prove useful in our look at the Avengers.

Jen – This virtue focuses on the ideal relationship that should exist between people. This astounding commitment to relationships was both beautiful and exceptionally difficult to obtain. A person exhibiting Jen displays a feeling of humanity towards others, respect for oneself, and a deep sense of dignity for human life everywhere. Just a moment of reflection should allow you to see how much time in the Marvel Comic Universe is spent on both relationships between the characters and the needs of the larger community. If you are reading this I doubt you need my help to generate a list.

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Chun Tzu – The individual exhibiting Jen would be said to be an example of Chun Tzu, often translated as the Superior or Higher man. This superiority is not from wealth or title; it is about one’s character. The Chun Tzu is at great ease with themselves and, by extension, brings ease to others. The more people who can become chun tzu who exist the greater the possibility of achieving social harmony and enduring peace. The world can never have enough people who are chun tzu. Sadly, I would say we’ve also never had enough of them in the world…but there’s always Captain America!

 

Li – This complex concept can be presented as the way things ought to be done. Confucius felt that people would not be able to discern Li from other paths completely on their own and therefore tried to provide models for them to emulate. He used maxims (short sayings), anecdotes, and his own life to create these examples. Following the correct path, while maintaining a deep regard for humanity and relationship, help create life as a sacred dance with seamless patterns, awe-inspiring fluidity, and transcendent beauty. (3).  The world The Avengers envision.

 

Following the correct path, while maintaining a deep regard for humanity and relationship, help create life as a sacred dance with seamless patterns, awe-inspiring fluidity, and transcendent beauty. That sounds like a very tall order, perhaps well beyond our grasp. Perhaps it is too daunting or fanciful. A view Abraham Lincoln proposed when looking at the ideals of the Declaration of Independence proves helpful in such times. Lincoln stated the ideals of the Declaration could be, “constantly looked to, constantly labored for, and even though never perfectly attained, constantly approximated…,” (4). This approach to ideal is exceptionally helpful. It is so easy to look at the idea of becoming chun-tzu and feel disheartened by my shortcomings and weaknesses. Yet, armed with the wisdom of Abraham Lincoln, I need not focus on my fragilities so much as the inspirational role models before me. I like to think Confucius would approve of this as he stressed the need to not allow a negative mindset to stop someone found following the difficult path he endorsed (5).

 

The Big Three

 

 

 

As we are stressing character strengths in this post we will focus on three original members of The Avengers (Thor, Ironman, and Captain America), utilizing each as an exemplar of a single character trait. To be sure each one of these heroes could be used to exemplify any number of character traits but those are conversations for another day!

 

Sacrifice

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The willingness to set aside one’s personal interests for the good of the community does no come naturally to most. It can be hard not to fall into the mindset of wondering what’s in it for me. I find Thor to be the best example of the willingness to make sacrifices. That may strike the reader as slightly surprising but consider this list.

Thor (in depowered human form) allowed himself to be killed by the Destroyer (Thor)

Thor shattered the rainbow bridge, choosing protection of others over his heart as he effectively cut himself off from Jane Foster (Thor)

Thor risked damaging his relationship with Odin to seek victory against Malekith (Thor: The Dark World)

Thor risked his death (almost crushed by falling ship) in his final effort to defeat Malekith (Thor: The Dark World)

Thor turns down the throne of Asgard (Thor: The Dark World)

Thor is told by Tony he may not survive the explosion his blow wold cause as he sought to destroy the falling landmass in Avengers: Age of Ultron

Thor sacrifices Asgard itself to ensure the defeat of Hela (Thor: Ragnarok)

Confucius noted that by looking at a person’s intentions, examining their motives, and scrutinizing what brings someone contentment then you can see who a person truly is.  In fact actions make it all but impossible to hide what you truly are (6). In that case, Thor is someone driven to do all he can to guarantee victory for his comrades, even if he should ultimately fall. One wonders how far he will go in the upcoming war with Thanos?

Growth

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Not that kind of growth, sorry Ant-Man. We’re talking about personal growth. The desire to becoming a better person tomorrow than you are today. Tony Stark, despite your unrelenting ego, that’s you. Tony’s run through the Marvel Cinematic Universe started as a misogynistic arms dealer who saw war as the perfect way to make HUGE profits! Damn. There was almost nowhere to go but up! And while it is true Tony’s ego is still a bit much to take. His relationship with women (Pepper Potts in particular), willingness to admit a mistake (his truce with Captain America when tracking down Zemo in Civil War), and capacity to offer guidance to young Peter Parker all are actions that would have been far beyond his ability a decade ago. Confucius informed his students, “Those of the loftiest wisdom and those of the basest ignorance: they alone never change” (7). Living things grow. Stagnation is the death knell of life. Tony has grown as much as any Marvel character over the years and, quite frankly, still has work to do. Maybe some humble pie served up by Shuri will help? Yeah, probably not.

 

Loyalty

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Or perseverance. Or maturity. Or commitment. Or…you get the point. There are so many virtues I could place at feet of Steve Rogers that it was hard to pick just one. I rather doubt that I have. Loyalty, however, seems to be a good place to start. Captain America’s loyalty to friends (I’m thinking Peggy Carter’s deathbed scene from Winter Soldier), the Avengers (recall his “together” speech from Age of Ultron), his ideals, and to people is inspiring. In many ways he has become the moral backbone and inspirational foundation of the MCU. It hasn’t been easy but it has been done with a determined grace that is quite noble. Whether willing to stand by Bucky (Winter Soldier and Civil War), to stand up for his ideals in numerous debates with Tony and Nick Fury, to stand by people in trouble as when he refused to get off the landmass ripped from Sokovia when Ultron was preparing to drop it, heading to New York in The Avengers without any of the “big guns” because, well, someone had to, or his commitment to tear down S.H.I.E.L.D as well as Hydra because both violated the grandeur purpose (Winter Soldier) Captain America remains loyal to his unyielding conviction to follow the right path even if it is difficult.

I would like to take a moment, however, to focus on a simple but powerful act of loyalty Cap performed at the end of Civil War. In a simple but heartfelt note he reached out to his estranged friend Tony Stark promising to be there for him should the moment arise. What a small but wonderful gesture. In that movie Cap stated he stood by Bucky because, “He’s my friend.” Tony’s response was, “So was I.” Wrong tense, Tony. Captain America, more than any other Avenger, doesn’t live in an either/or world. He strives, with great loyalty, to find both/and solutions when possible. Even when dealing with the most difficult of battles…navigating the murky world of human relationships and friendship. That letter…combined with his friendship with James “Bucky” Barnes allows us a cinematic vision of something quite rare, an adult male who not only takes his male friendships quite seriously but his willing to let that be known in no uncertain terms. Confucius once lamented to his student Lu, “Those who understand integrity are rare indeed” (8). The great sage is probably correct, which is why we all could use a little Captain America in each of us.

 

Never the End

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As we close out this post it is so easy to see where it could go. Every member of the Avengers deserved a place in this discussion. The focus on Bruce Banner, the integrity of James Rhodes, the dedication of Black Widow, and the honor of T’Challa. It could go on and on, but I like to think the point is made. Role models are everywhere…even in the MCU. So sit back. Take a moment to appreciate what we can learn from our heroes and the great ride they’ve taken us on. And, if you need to, tremble a little for Thanos is coming and all the character strengths in the world won’t be enough for all of them to see the final victory. Who else, however, would you want fighting such an overpowering and malevolent foe? Yes, Thanos is coming so…Avengers Assemble!

Endnotes

(1) White, Mark D. The Virtues of Captain America. Wiley Blackwell. 2014. p 27.

(2) ibid. p 27.

(3) Smith, Huston. The World’s Religions. Harper San Francisco. 1991. p 172-177. In summarizing the first of the five key elements of Confucian thinking I condescend professor Smith’s writing to fit the length of this post. Whatever elegance or poetry you found in those three sections work of the great Huston Smith.

(4) From a speech delivered by President Lincoln on June 26, 1857.  It was Lincoln’s public refutation of the Dred Scott decision.

(5) Hinton, David (translator). The Analects of Confucius. CounterPoint. 1998. Chapter 6.11.

(6) Ibid. 2.10

(7) Ibid. 17.3

(8) Ibid. 15.4